Putting an End to the Pecking Order Once and for All

Pecking Problems No Longer

In the world of chickens, all eyes are not equal. The world of chickens has screamed for hundreds of years for a solution to the untimely death of thousands, nay, millions, of chickens each year, worldwide, through the horrible process of inter-chicken pecking. We have heard those clucks, and have responded with a solution to stop the senseless loss of avian life - our unique patented Chicken Lenses. We are fulfilling what many animal lovers, food lovers, farmers and optometrists have long dreamed about. Through our corrective lenses, we are allowing chickens to live out their lives, and to obtain, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness....well, maybe not liberty, but as they say, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. How are we doing this? Quite simply, with our patented Chicken Lenses that use a variety of approaches to not only extend the chickens' life and quality of life, but also makes the chickens more productive.

Those lenses are tinted red for a reason - studies have shown many advantages that red lenses provides (we have since expanded to different colors - see below). While the production cost, feasibility, and distribution are all questions, it is important to not underestimate the marketing and PR concerns (as well as component import and export concerns both costing and Customs-wise). Specifically, animal rights groups have grown substantially in both membership and reach over the years; their ability to obtain media time has, accordingly, increased as well. Red lenses have a dramatic visual effect for the observer - think how many horror movies have you seen where the zombies or monsters have red eyes? While red was perhaps the most undesirable color we could have chosen from the PR aspect, it had also been scientifically the most effective in preventing chicken deaths. Marketing and PR cost, therefore, must not be discounted when preparing a cost-income analysis.

You can read more about that, along with other such information, in Optical Distortion, Inc.'s marketing report, prepared in part collaboration with several MBA students at the graduate school Instituto de Empresa Business School. If you're interested in saving money from the debeaking and also cutting out the drop in productivity that it causes, or are tired of other such dated methods, we're your company. Contact us for detailed pricing and order options, however, before doing so, we strongly suggest you read further information, below, on our Chicekn Lenses products.

Over the years, our team of researchers have determined that different colored ocular manipulations in fact altered the behavior of the fowl. We have significantly expanded our product line to include various colored lenses. Therefore, our lenses are not only able to prevent inter-fowl aggression (often fatal), but are able to re-direct that aggression to different inclinations - for example, mating (cyan; passive mating with red center), melancholy (green; less vocal with red center), and organization (blue; horizontal vs. vertical organization with red center). See examples of some of the lenses at work:

"Really, what gives?"

It's good you asked. By now I'm sure you realized that most links lead back to the index page. As I'm sure you can tell, this is not a "real" website; it was created to serve as a 1 minute ending for a presentation done on a Harvard Business School MBA Business Case, titled Chicken Lenses, that my "group" presented in my particular MBA marketing class, Instituto de Empresa Business School, year 2002 (wow, a lot of time has passed).

"I'm covering this case now, can you help me?"

I am an International Trade Law and Customs Law attorney, so I know a thing or two about the international sale and movement of goods. Unfortunately, however, I do not work with marketing, and I'm afraid I do not remember much of my marketing class. In fact, I don't even know if I have a copy of the Chicken Lenses marketing report we prepared. However, if you have any questions, I can try my best to help. Chances are you are taking at least one international trade course (if you're not, shame on you!), and I would be happy to help, time permitting and to the best of my abilities, with any general questions you may have on that front.

"I'm still in college, not even in Grad School yet!"

A college degree is good, but it's not what it used to be - and there is a continual degradation of the college degree's value. I strongly suggest considering graduate school. The joint JD-MBA program has become increasingly popular, as have masters in law (LLM) programs. If you're considering an MBA program, I strongly recommend an international program; business isn't getting any less globalized, so straddle the markets. But that's not all that there is to it. With the number of students swelling graduate school ranks, the question you should be asking yourself now is not just which programs have the best reputation and are the best for your field, but more important, how are you going to differentiate yourself? You can attend a top 50 business school and study international business, but surprise, probably at least 20% of those top 50 business school students are also studying international business - and we're not even taking into account the overseas top 50 business schools...

In Conclusion....

If you are interested in using this space for your presentation, let's talk. Either drop me an e-mail - from your university email account - and we can try to figure something out. If you are interested in I.E., and down the road decide to apply, let them know that you learned about the school through this website and receive 20% off the tuition (that was a joke!). If you have any serious questions about academic direction or career, I'm happy to help young minds, you are welcome to e-mail me or contact me through LinkedIn. While I can't gaurantee I won't be swamped, I'll do my best to provide any guidance I can (except for legal advice. I do not give legal advice!).

 

Last updated: 16 June, 2017


Order Option 1
Under 2,000 Chickens
 - $.75 per Lense Pair
 - Free installation of lenses
 - Free support for the first 3 months
 - On-site training
 - Priority re-fills
 - 24 hours customer service response
 - Inclusion in our customer lists
 - Complete satisfaction guarantee
More Info / Order
Order Option 2
2,000 - 5,000 Chickens
 - $.70 per Lense Pair
 - Free installation of lenses
 - Free support for the first 6 months
 - On-site training
 - Priority re-fills
 - 24 hours customer service response
 - Inclusion in our customer lists
 - Complete satisfaction guarantee
More Info / Order
Order Option 3
5,000 - 15,000 Chickens
 - $.65 per Lense Pair
 - Free installation of lenses
 - Free support for the first 6 months
 - On-site training
 - Priority re-fills
 - 24 hours customer service response
 - Inclusion in our customer lists
 - Complete satisfaction guarantee
 - Free book "Animal Farm"
More Info / Order
Order Option 4
Over 15,000 Chickens
 - $.50 per Lense Pair (best deal!)
 - Free installation of lenses
 - Free lifetime support
 - On-site training
 - Priority re-fills
 - 3 hour customer service response
 - Priority inclusion in our customer lists
 - Complete satisfaction guarantee
 - 6 months supply of Paprika
More Info / Order